CRAP!/ My Journal by Al Brathway

October 26, Friday/ I just read where Britney Spears' momma is going to write a parenting book. Are you f*#king kidding me!/ CRAP!

CRAP/ My Journal by Al Brathway

October 24th, Wednesday/ I just read an article Barack Obama's campaign strategy. It said that he is campaigning like he is a "regular guy." Trust me... I have no objection to the strategy but he better be careful. The last guy who campaigned that way screwed up the whole world with his "regular guy" mentality and goofy looks. I'm thinking that we need a "presidential" guy with a presidential brain who can undo what the "regular guy" did. However, if his (Obama) strategy is to act like a "regular guy" and he gets in and screws everything up (that's right, it can get worse!), he should get a "regular guy" beat down. (That could happen too considering Obama is a Black guy! They might take his behind down to Jena and comense to...) Wait a minute... I must be trippin'! Obama is not going to be President!/ CRAP!

CRAP/ My Journal by Al Brathway

Oct.19th, Friday Afternoon/ I was watching a show called Hollywood's 20 Sexiest Jobs and I have to say that I have new hope for finding a rewarding job with great pay! The #1 sexiest job in Hollywood is being a body parts model. Hey, I'm packing my bags and moving to Cali because there was one body part that they did not talk about that I have plenty of... I'm going to be the first body part model (who, by the way, is Black!) and model my beer gut!!! I will corner a market! I'm tall, dark, handsome, and I have the most photogenic gut you can imagine. And why not? When I was in elementary school and the teacher talked about what we should aspire to be, I knew then that I did not want to be a policeman or a fireman. Oh hell no! As I got older, reality set in and I found out that politics played a big role in a Black man getting any kind of job in America. I'm not good at playing politics but I sure am good at drinking beer! Tell the truth, you have not seen a beer gut body model anywhere. And, if I cannot get an agency to rep me, I will start my own agency and pimp myself. I wouldn't mind having me for a boss anyway...!/ What the hell am I saying?/ CRAP!

CRAP/ My Journal by Al Brathway

October 8th, Monday/ Today is a holiday but it feels no different, to me, because I don't have a job... So what's the difference? Everyday is a holiday to me! However, this is the time of year, for me, where there are a series of holidays that effect me in the weirdest way. They are Holloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. These three holidays reming me of some real good times during my childhood. Man I enjoyed these three in particular. And, it wasn't just the holidays that did it for me... The anticipation of them was smokin'! As a matter of fact, the actual day was anticlimatic compared to the days prior to... But Father Time and adulthood has ruined everything for me. I don't even get pleasure watching kids go through the anticipation process. I'm like, "...let's just get them over with already!" And, to "add insult to injury," the new year comes in after Christmas and my birthday is in that month. Then I become a year older and fall deeper in the abyss of depression. (Hey, I'm in the last third of my life!) Soon it will be all over for me! Then what? Hell? (Are there holidays down there like the ones up here?)/ CRAP!

CRAP/ My Journal by Al Brathway

October 7th, Sunday/ Ahhhh... Sunday! Today is the day where my dreams become my realities and my realities become my dreams. Sunday is the one day where my creative juices flow like Niagra Falls (on the canadian side!). I think like I've never thought before on Sunday. My possibilities become my realities. Sunday is the day when I really believe in GOD, not because it is HIS day, but because it is my day. It's the day HE gave me to rest in my brain. I don't worry on Sunday. I can't. My mind won't allow it. Sunday is the day I purge the poison out of my system./ I have a reason to enjoy this particular Sunday. This is the beginning of a week where I will receive something (someone) who has saved my life. No, not my physical life but my mental life. This particular Sunday is the day that my whole life has changed for the rest of my life. It may only last a day but this Sunday is the day I waited for my whole life./ Everybody should have a day like this. It is disappointing to think that many won't. With all the shit that is going on in the world, many won't be able to even grasp the concept of what I'm talking about. Under any other circumstance I would be right along with those people... But I cannot be that way anymore. I don't miss it. I used to be real comfortable in it, but not anymore. I just wish I could convince others to join me but the task is too great to believe in. For years I tried to get out but the crabs kept dragging me back in the barrel. Damn... That mental barrel is a bitch! Maybe I'll be able to lead my example? Maybe not.../ CRAP!

CRAP/ My Journal by Al Brathway

October 5th, Friday/ I lost my faith today! Things just don't seem to work for me like they do for others, if what the others say is the truth. I have signed on to believe that the process is the same for everybody but I don't get the results others have claimed to have gotten. What? I pay the bills, I'm on time. I follow the proceedure religiously! I've done all the right things when I go thru the process...Yet, I have nothing to show for it. It even worked for my sister and she just committed to it once. But you know what? I'm not gonna waste my time anymore. What's the point in believing if there are no results? Okay, maybe I'm looking for a miracle but isn't that what it's all about? Where is the payoff? I might have to start looking for a woman in church because the Internet thing is bullshit!/ CRAP!

CRAP/My Journal by Al Brathway

October 4th, Thursday/ Last night I went to bed very early, which ment I was going to wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to go back to sleep. So I turned on the radio and tuned on to a sports talk radio station. Hey, I'm into sports! Sometimes I listen to sports talk radio during the day to pass the time. Sometimes it's cool and other times the conversations get real stupid. Well last night the conversation went beyond stupid!/ I've noticed that the hosts of these types of shows seem to get real disturbed when their listening audience doen't agree with whatever they say. Most of the time, after a rant by the host, the listener gets hung up on! Last time I checked that is rude behavior. I guess no one can have a valid opinion, on the radio, but the host? Or, maybe they are supposed to be funny? I got annoyed! Then, the random bantering that goes on and on and on and on... Yeah, I can change the channel, which I eventually did, but... And the losers that call in...! What the hell is wrong w/ people? You know, I could never get past the weirdness of Andy Warhol but he was right about one thing: People DO want their 15 minutes of fame! The callers will hang on the line and wait and wait and wait to be heard on the radio! Last night, two guys fell asleep waiting. They broadcasted the two guys snoring while waiting! I guess that is compelling radio or something./ I know one thing... I will time my going to bed better from now on. I will also avoid listening to sports talk radio from now on. Hell, I might just stop watching sporting events altogether. If I cannot be entertained by sports, I might as well watch and listen to world news... That's where all the comedians seem to be these days!/ CRAP!

CRAP/My Journal by Al Brathway

October 3rd, Wennesday/ I have a confession to make... I have an addiction. No, it's not drugs or alcohal... It's not women or anything you might think of off the top of your head. I... I have an email addiction! Boom, there it is, I said it. I am addicted to my email! I check it constantly during the day... just minutes in between. I have 5 email addresses! That's right... 5! I check and check and check and check all day long. When I don't get fresh mail, I have anxiety attacks. When I do get fresh mail, I have anxiety attacks!/ I hate spam mail. I liken it to premature ejaculation. (I don't like that!) Sometimes my email is real juicy. Most of the time it is just some boring ass Bcc somebody else passed on. The dating service(s) stuff is real funny to me. Damn, what people expect from a (potential) mate is hilarious! It's like... "no wonder people can't get together!" However, there is one person (a woman) who sends me the juiciest emails...! I only hear from her once a week and I have never met her in person (yet) but I get such a charge out of her emails...MAN! (Hell, meeting her might be anticlimatci!)/ Maybe what I need to do is see a psychotherapist. I would if I could afford the treatment but I'm not working and all I have to look forward to is my emails... CRAP!