Sunday, April 29, 2007

COMPLAINT DEPT> by Al Brathway


I live in Brooklyn, New York and I experienced something very disturbing the other day. I was over to my mother’s house and I had to go to the drugstore to get a prescription filled. The drugstore was approximately three blocks away. I left the house and had to turn onto a block called Montgomery Street. That particular block was the entry to a housing development and a college, which is directly across the street. It is dark so my sense of sight has to be a little sharper. (You never know what is lurking in a dark corner in Brooklyn, and that could be in broad daylight!) So, I’m paying attention to my surroundings as I walk. I walk a few steps and just happen to look down… and BAM! There it is! Pit bull doody! I swerve around it and walk a few more steps… and PLICKOW! Rotweiller doody!
I get it. This is the thing in the ‘hood. All the kids have these dogs now. I mean it bothered me that I had to weave my way through this crap all over the sidewalk. The law is that you are supposed to clean up after your dog but the kids never do. (Most adults don’t clean up after their dogs either!) So, I walk a little further and now I am strictly watching my step and, this time, I see what just sets me off! KICK KACK KICKOW! French Poodle doody! Now, I am pissed off! What is French Poodle doody doing in the ‘hood?
I usually do not vote but I am registering and voting in the next assemblyman election. This has got to stop!

Let Them Eat Cake by Al Brathway

LET THEM EAT CAKE/ Reality Shows

What is it with these “reality shows” and the food (or testicles or shit) they make people eat for the sake of winning some money that the government is going to take half?
Seems like all you have to do is put (whatever) on a plate in the middle of some lettuce, pour some sauce or salad dressing on it, with the promise of gold at the end of the plate, and “Voila’!”
And the people… What the hell are they thinking? The psych job people put on themselves… “It’s a delicacy!” Humph… Yeah, right! (Come to think about it, shit could pass for pâté when you shape it into a sculpture!)

SHORT STORY DEPT: Johnny Had An Idea by Al Brathway

It was a classroom assignment. Mrs. Barber wanted the class to come up with an idea to start a business. She did not c2are what the business was. All she wanted was that it be a legitimate one that could be pursued. The class gave a collective moan. That is everyone except Johnny. Johnny was considered the “weird one” in the class. At least that is what everybody said. He did not do a lot of talking. He rarely hung with anybody but there was something about him that everybody liked. He would get offers to “hang out” but he would always decline the offer. Johnny was acutely shy.
Johnny had the best grades of everyone in Mrs. Barber’s class. He probably had the best grades in the whole school! He was always on the honor roll and his grade point average never slipped below 98%. He always turned his homework in on time and was never absent or late for class. When Mrs. Barber issued a test, she made Johnny sit up front, right beside her, because she did not anyone cheating. If they saw Johnny’s answers, they too would have passed the test!
Johnny passed every test he took in class.

When Mrs. Barber announced the assignment, everyone flocked to Johnny to find out what he was thinking about doing. Johnny never answered anyone’s questions. He would just smile and politely excuse himself. Everyone knew that Johnny had an idea!
On the day that the assignments had to be approved, everyone was nervous. Everyone except Johnny. One by one the kids got up to announce what their idea was about. Johnny was the last to get up and everyone waited with baited breath to see what he was going to do. Even Mrs. Barber was excited although she tried to hide her emotions.

Johnny stood up and proudly announced that he was going to start a magazine. “What is the name of your magazine going to be?” Mrs. Barber asked. “I’m going to call it Gorilla’s Penis!” The laughter shook the windows! Mrs. Barber tried to regain order. After the class calmed down, she encouraged Johnny to continue. “I’m sure the more the magazine grows, the harder it will get but I will be able to handle it… my idea that is. The class was in hysterics.
Johnny explained the ins and outs of the operation and how the profits would be made. Whatever the joke was, Mrs. Barber was not getting it and the class would not stop laughing. It got so bad, Mrs. Barber ordered Johnny to think of something else.

Several years passed and everyone in Mrs. Barber’s class could not be accounted for at the reunion. The party was nice. The room was festively decorated and those who attended were dressed smartly. Mrs. Barber was there. She was retired and lived with her son who took care of her. She remembered everyone that approached her and started telling stories about her fond memories of that class. Suddenly, the door swung open and her favorite student appeared. It was Johnny! He was impeccably dressed in a tailor made suit. He approached Mrs. Barber and greeted her warmly. “What are you doing with yourself Johnny?” she asked affectionately. “I am the editor of Gorilla’s Penis and it is coming along in spurts!” he said proudly. Mrs. Barber fainted on the spot. “Damn… I guess I would have killed her if I told her I netted six million in sales last year!”

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Ambiguous By A. Dacosta Brathway


The mirror image
of what I see
is what I wished not to be...

Back in the day,

I laid there
knowing not to play there!

Yet I ventured
and now I stay there!

F'ed up line of thinking
has my whole life stinking
w/ the stench
of unsuccess.

Full of misdirection
and pessimistic counsel...
A few days at a time
I smoked an ounce full...

Brain damaged mindset
made me mindful
now I rage in a china shop
like a blind bull...

While talking to myself,
I get an answer,
I hear voices,
yet no one stands there...

...Before me,
But me,
Still wishing I could be
opposite of what I see.

(c) A. Dacosta Brathway

Things That Make You Say "What the...?" by Scoop Johnson, LDL News

I was just reading an Internet news report that Mike Tyson is going to Bollywood to shoot a promotional video for a movie. Three forths of the article explained why this was happening. It was light hearted and positive. Then, BAM, at the very end of the article the writer gave a brief synopsis of Tyson's criminal life! I mean, why even bother to report something about good about anybody if there is something bad to follow? How come it is never the other way around? "This Just In: Scoop Johnson, the deranged father of two was found at the scene of the murder of his estranged wife. Her blood was spilled all over her bedroom walls and her head was found underneath her bed."
"Just last month, Scoop raised 2 million dollars for the Austistic Children's Society and he organized the Middle School's bake sale for the athletic fund for Special Olympics."

(Disclaimer: This mock article in no way reflects any real life situations that may or may not have occurred. The character, "Scoop Johnson" is fictional. Anyone really named "Scoop Johnson" need not be alarmed.)

Friday, April 13, 2007

...And the A Train Still Runs Hot by A. Dacosta Brathway

What is all the fervor?

I heard...
I heard there was a murder...

It's said they found human bones,
At the Nostrand Avenue subway site,
The very thought keeps me up at night!

Yet, the city didn't skip a beat...
The lights stayed on,
Traffic did not stop...

And the A train still runs hot...

Street vendors,
mind benders,
Bodega's posing as small credit lenders,

Heavy traffic,
Episcopalians, Catholics,
Sexual acts, pornographic...

Black top activity,
hot an' heavy
while a four alarm blaze
rages 'cross town...

All this goes down
during a game of crap...

Shoots drugs in an arm
in a vacant lot...

And the A train still runs hot!

High society to be seen,
On Broadway as the night lights burn
when a megaphoned voice is heard to yell...

"That's a wrap!"
On a location set about to be struck...
While street walkers work,
to give a "fuck" to those in need,
To satisfy their urge
and other's greed...
Down on bend and knee,
While they bleed...

W/ the desire to feed
that parent-less, unplanned seed...

Sidewalk toilets for the canine persuasion,
Go unattended...
Though "Clean Up After Your Dog"
is recommended...

Litter, debris, garbage,
Leaves one offended...
High taxes,
Low wages,
Loud noises,
Stone faces...

Cell phones ringing,
Bling bling" blinging,
Public school truancy
has "the Authority" singing...

The blues
w/ all its bad news...

Gentrification in the 'hood
has the minorities running off the lot...

And the A train STILL runs hot!

(c) A. Dacosta Brathway

Those Voices Inside My Head by A. Dacosta Brathway

I tell them...
to shut up,
But they diss me...
I wish they would flee
from inside...

My head is on overload
about to explode
from the lexicon
that resides deep w/in,
from all the coffee house chatter...

Does it matter...(?)

That I am forced to listen
by my admission
in allowance
of said dialogue to take place
in my space...

Like domestic critters
on dropped food...

How rude
not to include
me in on the conversation
w/out reservation...

And so I lie there
listening to
what they chose to review...



I do,
what they recommend me

Those voices inside my head!

(c) A. Dacosta Brathway

A Love Affair by A. Dacosta Brathway

Lost in time...

A relationship that flourished
in rhythm when
two hearts met
& everything was fine...


Like expensive red wine
when sipped
across a small table

candle lit
w/ wax dripping
in romantic patterns
on a scented table cloth...

And there is that light buzz
of conversation between two
know not what to do
outside of discreet staring
only hearing choice words spoken...

Ah, the possibility
to be
in love w/ the possibility of love...
That perfect fit
like hand in glove
confirmed by Omnipetant eyes
from above,

Confirm the union of two
who blend as one!

(c) A. Dacosta Brathway

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Existentialism: a philosophy centered on individual existence and personal responsibility for acts of free will w/out certain knowledge of what is right or wrong…

The Existentialist Nigga,
Buried in a mindset of bullshit ideals
Well heeled…
In Tim boots
And sweat suits…
Body full of game
W/ a rap real lame
Citing the obvious…

Rump shaking ‘ho’s
Maintaining the flow
Of ignorance…
While hind sighted thought
Is distraught
w/ the mission of saving a life…

All this glittering gold
In the new stories told
Provide false hope
To the dope (d)
Up boys on the block…
While being clocked by THE MAN!
You see…
Big brother is really watching you now
It’s what the law will allow
By an act of Patriot-ism
w/ your life, now, like the yard is a prison…
sectioned off turf
you dare not surf…
The existentialist nigga
Quick to pull the trigga
On his mirror image
Like it’s his privledge
As mandated by Massa
w/ his divide and conquer mentality
that infiltrates the reality
of brothers…
starring in his fantasy!

(c) A. Dacosta Brathway
By Job Less, Resident Homeboy, LDL

Yo, yo wha’s up? This yo’ boy Scoop bringin’ you the lates’ in wha’s goin’ down on the street! Yo, like I been hearin’ a lot a complaints from da establishment ‘bout the hip-hop culture lately an’ I be tryin’ ta figure it out… I mean, wha’s up wit’ dat? Why you be comin’ down so hard on the masses? You know, you’s had yo’ time… Back in da day when you was followin’ James Brown an’ all dat… Why y’all don’ wanna accept what be goin’ down w’it us? We ain’t tryin’ ta hurt nobody unless they be tryin’ ta take our block or some’in…

Look yo’, you keep doin’ what you be doin’ an’ we will maintain ours ov’a here! An’ if any of you dudes is lookin’ for a hard worker, I’m down. I ain’t got no experience but I got skillz! Holla…

ED's Opinion/LDL

ED’s Opinion
(Before you read this, firmly plant your tongue in your cheek!)

Oh Imus…Imus…Imus… Wow! I have to say when I first heard about what you said, I said, “Oh no he didn’t!” I was listening to a sports talk radio show and they announced that you said what was said. But I didn’t believe it until I saw it, printed, in the Washington Post (Sat., April 7, 2007). I read the article and it dawned on me that there is no problem with you saying what you said. For the record, you apologized. End of story, right? WRONG!

There is a new story here that needs to be addressed. That story is that you will not lose your job! Why? Why won’t Imus lose his job boys and girls? (Please raise your hands kiddies, we live in a civilized society!) That’s it! Imus won’t lose his job because we live in a civilized society and as long as a racial slur is committed and apologized for, it’s all good! And, why is it all good? It’s all good because civilized HUMAN beings are smart enough to know that if there is an apology that makes it all good! The question is how civilized are we as a society?

You have to know that in a civilized society you should expect to be criticized, humiliated, insulted, verbally abused, disrespected, and demoralized. It’s a part of what makes America great. Did you know that right now a war is being fought for this very right? (There are other issues too but we are on this particular one!)You have the right to be disrespect anybody you want because people are losing their lives for this right.

It was mentioned in the article that Imus brings in the ratings. If you work a job that brings in high ratings, like in TV or radio, you can say whatever you want because it’s about ratings! It is not about, or never was about, HUMAN decency. Who cares about a Black women’s basketball team that made it all the way to the final game of the season? That’s no big deal… Hell, they lost! They deserve to be insulted! Never mind that they beat some good teams along the way (i.e. LSU and DUKE!) Why should they be exalted above their station? They lost to Tennessee! UT has not won it in (what) nine years since their last national title. It's not about Rutgers, right?
Look, they did not deserve what they got from you Imus. But you and your bunch found it to be quite amusing because that's just what you do! Keep up the good work Imus. With a bit of luck, you won't be a problem much longer!(Readers, you can take your tongue out of your cheek now!)

ED's Opinion Intro

ED's Op

Que pasa people? This is the intro to a new blog on line that will be voicing the views of an invisible man. It won't be anything vicious or mean spirited. It's just time for another opinion about how the world works. Okay, maybe not but it's gonna happen anyway so... God, there are so many things to express an opinion on, how will I find the time? That's real easy. Since I don't have a job, I'll have all the time in the world! (Maybe I don't have a job is because I AM invisible?) In any event, look out for Miscellaneous Turds! (I know... You don't like the name. But that's the beauty of living in America!)