Excerpt from "My Life Sucked..." by A. Dacosta Brathway

Who or what determines how or why you live? Is it GOD? Is it science? Is it dumb-ass luck? I don't know that answer but if anyone asked me that question, as it pertained to me, my answer would be that it is dumb-ass bad luck! Why I was born black, in a one parent situation, in the ghetto, and poor in America can't be anything else but bad luck. And in my teenage years, bad luck reigned supreme in my life./ After I got bussed out of my 'hood to what seemed like a foreign country to go to high school, I was experiencing things I never had to worry about before./ After several encounters with "almost" sexual intercourse, and "very close to" fucking a girl,(good) fate stepped in and lended me a hand. I went to the gym to play some pick up basketball and when I got there, there was this fine honey sitting on the stage, watching. (The gym was a Catholic Church/School that had a stage in the gym.) She was short, shapely, very cute and not the kind of girl that would be interested in me./ When my game came up, I just happened to look over at the stage and for some odd reason our eyes locked! She was staring at me and I guess I was staring at her because I wasn't looking at anything else, including the pile of gear on the floor that I just happened to trip over. Of course everyone laughed... But her! She looked genuinely concerned about my condition. Hobbled, I played my game, lost, and exited the gym. When I got outside, she was out there, smoking a cigarette, which was a no-no around the gym but a complete turn on to me. She was so sexy the way she blew out the smoke then looked at me to see if I caught her committing an ungodly act. When I looked her over, she had on a tight blouse, tight shorts... To be honest, I don't know what else she had on because I could not get past the shorts! When I got closer to her, she spoke to me and my life changed forever!/ Over time, we got to know each other...over the phone. It got to the point where she wanted to see more of me so we decided that one day we would meet and hangout... together./ At that time I was very secretative about my private life. I never talked to my mother about anything! School, sex, teenage anxiety, my failing grades, girlfriends, or the lack there of... So me meeting my mystery girl met the same criteria./ When we finally talked about getting together, she decided that she wanted to come to my house. My house! How in the hell was that going to happen? I lived in a house that was guarded by an aunt that stayed home all the time. Not only did she stay home, she ran a small grocery store and was always watching the block. There was no way I would be able to get my concubine in the house! Ahh, but (good) fate reared her head once again. The day we decided to hang out was the same day that my aunt had a doctor's appointment. All I had to do now was find an excuse to have to go home in the middle of the day, from school. I decided that I would, deliberately, rip the crotch in my pants. That would get me a pass to go home early. When I got to the bus stop (it was too early for the race riots!), my mystery girlfriend was there, waiting for me. For a solid hour, we rode on that bus, teasing each other and reaching a fever pitch!/ When I got her in the house, I thought, "Ive done it! She is in the house, no one is home and my secret is safe!"/ I hear women complain about how bad it was to lose their virginity. They talk about how it was nothing like what they thought it would be... Shit, when I lost mine that beautiful, sunny day, it was everything I imagined and more! I remember her moving past my premature ejaculation moment without a complaint... I remember her dispelling all of the myths about not being able to get it back up after I came. She had skills!/ When it was over, I was so loose, I could not think straight. Unthinking, I thought sex would be like what I saw on tv. You know, like on a soap opera when they had sex. After it was over, they would just get up, put on their clothes and act like nothing happened. It looked so sanitary. Yeah, right... My sheets were soaked and my room was as funky as a whore house on the weekend. I took my sheets off my bed and balled them up in a pile on the floor. I was home free... That is until my mother came home and saw them laying on the floor. When she picked them up she felt the dampness. The funk was not as profound, but it was still in the air because the GLADE had not lived up to it's own advertising./ I saw my mystery date one more time after that. She was with another guy, probably going to do the same thing she did with me on my special day. But I was a man about it. I had already done my crying... It was when (bad) fate stepped in and convinced my mother to whip my ass when she figured out what went on... On my dream date when she smelled the funk and saw my sheets on the floor...!