W W J D?

I'm waiting for the ressurrection and I'm waiting with baited breath! I want Jesus to come back right now so that he can get right on this IPhone thing! How cool would that be for him? He would get all of his emails from his boys (you know, his crew from the "last supper" when they went to a sports bar and had buffalo wings and beer!)He would get all of his calls from his Pops so that he does not miss his curfew and shit. (Earth gets dangerous after dark, even for Jesus!) He could get the news, the weather, stock tips... Not to mention his messages...! The only thing I'm worried about is how would he pay his bill? Not having a job is some big deal in America! They might view him as a terrorist with the robe and the sandals and no visible means of support... (9-11 fucked up everything!) His dad could be giving him an allowance but nobody really believes in God anymore. Don't believe me? Then why is the world so fucked up these days? If jesus gets a hold of that IPhone, he's gonna be on the hot line with his dad, talking about what going on with the global warming thing... You know, who's dumping shit in the water and who is farting and polluting the air we breathe... Stuff like that! C'mon Man, hurry up and get your IPhone!