April 13th, Saturday... I was thinking about how people treat time. Christian logic is that no one is in control of his or her time. That's GOD's piece. There is no promise of tomorrow to anyone. All you have is what you have until you don't have it anymore. Yet most folks think that they have all the time in the world. What that lends oneself to do is procrastinate about one's life. Who really can think about being in the moment?
Early on, it was drilled into me that I was to live in the moment. I was told to make a psychological profile of what I was doing when I was doing it. I did not get it then but, somehow, I tried to adopt and practice what I was told to do. In retrospect, I can recollect what I did when I did it which allows me to enjoy what I did that much more when thinking about it. When I talk to whomever I was with when a particular event took place, the laughs seem deeper and funnier. So I beg the question: Why do people waste so much damn time?
I have gotten to the point where I cannot be around people who sit around and idly chit-chat about nothing. I cannot even listen to people I don't know talk about anything that does not seem to be going in some sort of direction. I went to a book fair today and heard a man, who happens to be running for a political office, talk about being a supporter for a particular county's school system but he sends his kids to the expensive private school where the event was being held. That's cool but... I mean, granted the time, how will that be explained down the road and in the explanation will the truth be revealed? Does it matter? Should I care? I live in the moment, I don't care!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Ain't This Some Shit?
April 11th, Friday... I was on my Facebook account and saw a picture of a woman I went to college with. I started laughing because the last conversation we had, we established that we would go to the movies together. We never kept the date! Why?
She's attractive, still. She has done well in her life. I thought we might get along... Then I remembered what she said that turned me off! Paraphrasing, she made the comment that we could go out but I should not entertain the idea that I could get in her pants! Whoa...WTF!
First of all, I could NEVER get into her pants. I am much bigger and taller than her. Secondly, what is so special about her pants that would make me want to get into them? I am thinking that one's personality would be the primary to attract me to even consider wanting to have sex with her. To display such arrogance as a prerequisite to wanting to have sex is a misnomer. I'm thinking that mood lighting, some alcoholic libation, and some sexy talk would do it for me! But to assume that I want your ass is one thing and to turn me down before I even asked is yet another (thing).
I am older, smarter, and much wiser than I was in college. I'm too old to chase women, now, even know that is the assumed rule of the game. I'm from the Richard Pryor school of sex. Outside of having sex with the women I have had, there is no sex as good as my hand!
She's attractive, still. She has done well in her life. I thought we might get along... Then I remembered what she said that turned me off! Paraphrasing, she made the comment that we could go out but I should not entertain the idea that I could get in her pants! Whoa...WTF!
First of all, I could NEVER get into her pants. I am much bigger and taller than her. Secondly, what is so special about her pants that would make me want to get into them? I am thinking that one's personality would be the primary to attract me to even consider wanting to have sex with her. To display such arrogance as a prerequisite to wanting to have sex is a misnomer. I'm thinking that mood lighting, some alcoholic libation, and some sexy talk would do it for me! But to assume that I want your ass is one thing and to turn me down before I even asked is yet another (thing).
I am older, smarter, and much wiser than I was in college. I'm too old to chase women, now, even know that is the assumed rule of the game. I'm from the Richard Pryor school of sex. Outside of having sex with the women I have had, there is no sex as good as my hand!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Oh Shit!
April 9th, Tuesday... Let me preface what I am about to write by saying I grew up in poverty! That being said, I was in the ATL for the Final 4. I did not see a game. I did not run into any old friends that are coaches. In fact, I never got to downtown Atlanta to see anything relating to the Final 4! What I did get to do was stay in a mansion! Not a 5 star hotel... I stayed in a freakin' mansion! Never in my life I thought that I would get to experience how the other half lived! (And I enjoyed every stinking minute of it!) I stayed in the east wing of the house. The east freakin' wing! It was like a private studio apartment, only bigger! I enjoyed all the rights and privileges of the house. I ate, I drank... I was invited out to breakfast and rode in a S550 Benz. I watched movies in a home theatre with surround sound and 3D capability. I basked in the lap of luxury and I enjoyed the experience. And then it happened... I had to leave! (Crickets...)
I don't regret living the life I have lived so far. I have enjoyed my adventures, good and bad. But I have to tell you... Being rich does have its advantages! But I am thinking that if I had that lifestyle, I would be an idiot today. Not that the people that allowed me to stay with them are "idiots." I am saying that "I would be an idiot!" I would have no perspective. I probably don't have one now. What I do have is an experience that I will never forget! ThankYou Father!
I don't regret living the life I have lived so far. I have enjoyed my adventures, good and bad. But I have to tell you... Being rich does have its advantages! But I am thinking that if I had that lifestyle, I would be an idiot today. Not that the people that allowed me to stay with them are "idiots." I am saying that "I would be an idiot!" I would have no perspective. I probably don't have one now. What I do have is an experience that I will never forget! ThankYou Father!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
More Shit To Deal With...
April 3rd, Wednesday... Last week was a bitch! My favorite Aunt died in her sleep! The kicker is that she was taking care of my Moms, who is in the hospital! Now my family is flippin'! Okay, tell me; what is it about "death" that turns reasonable thinking people into morons?
I've been told that death is a part of the cycle of life. No, you don't get to live forever. You may be Christian and looking for the Kingdom, but that's a different kind of living once you die!
Don't get me wrong... I'm bent out of shape over her death. I have choked up a couple of times in all the wrong places. I have not seen much of her and now I can't see her at all. The service was Episcopalian. It was structured and dry. She was cremated. The Urn sat on a table beside her picture. She had Polio most of her adult life but it did not stop her from doing her thing. I admired her. My hope is that she will always watch over me(?).
I did not get the chance to break the news to my mother. My cousin took that away from me. (Seems like it was a decision that was made from an attitude that stemmed from exercising "total autonomy!")
My hope is that her death will trigger the shit hitting the fan in my family. Some folks need to be humbled! GOD has blessed her and I hope HE keeps her! I love you Aunt Gloria... More than I ever told you. In Jesus name, Amen!
I've been told that death is a part of the cycle of life. No, you don't get to live forever. You may be Christian and looking for the Kingdom, but that's a different kind of living once you die!
Don't get me wrong... I'm bent out of shape over her death. I have choked up a couple of times in all the wrong places. I have not seen much of her and now I can't see her at all. The service was Episcopalian. It was structured and dry. She was cremated. The Urn sat on a table beside her picture. She had Polio most of her adult life but it did not stop her from doing her thing. I admired her. My hope is that she will always watch over me(?).
I did not get the chance to break the news to my mother. My cousin took that away from me. (Seems like it was a decision that was made from an attitude that stemmed from exercising "total autonomy!")
My hope is that her death will trigger the shit hitting the fan in my family. Some folks need to be humbled! GOD has blessed her and I hope HE keeps her! I love you Aunt Gloria... More than I ever told you. In Jesus name, Amen!
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Some Shit I Will Never Forget!
March 9th, Saturday... Living in America is a challenge! There are so many obstacles to overcome, it blows the mind! Housing is bad. Making decent money is hard. Jobs are scarce.People are cranky. There is a gun problem....A gang problem. Education is inadequate. People are frustrated! And then there is the biggy... RACISM!!!In the land of freedom (allegedly) racism plays a big role in the demise of the fabric of American society. There is no getting around it. It affects everyone! (Even the ones in denial.)
I will never forget my first encounter with racism. It was a very cold and snowy morning on January 30, 1951. It was approximitly 3 a.m. I was the tender age of 3 seconds old when a white, Jewish doctor smacked me on my ass! (That shit hurt!) My mother did not (could not) defend me. She was too busy complaining about her back hurting. I was dangling upside down, being held by my feet like a captured slave. I was hungry and hurting. I felt like I passed through a tight tunnel... searching for FREEDOM! (Harriett, where were you when I needed you?) Ever since then, it has been down hill for me.
I don't know what other people's walk of life is like, but if it is anything like mine, they are in for a rough time. If only a little compassion could be exercised. If only people could be mindful of the fact that we need each other to make things better... Ahhh... What the hell am I thinking? This is America!
I will never forget my first encounter with racism. It was a very cold and snowy morning on January 30, 1951. It was approximitly 3 a.m. I was the tender age of 3 seconds old when a white, Jewish doctor smacked me on my ass! (That shit hurt!) My mother did not (could not) defend me. She was too busy complaining about her back hurting. I was dangling upside down, being held by my feet like a captured slave. I was hungry and hurting. I felt like I passed through a tight tunnel... searching for FREEDOM! (Harriett, where were you when I needed you?) Ever since then, it has been down hill for me.
I don't know what other people's walk of life is like, but if it is anything like mine, they are in for a rough time. If only a little compassion could be exercised. If only people could be mindful of the fact that we need each other to make things better... Ahhh... What the hell am I thinking? This is America!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Some Shit I Have To Deal With
March 4th, Monday... I was online, looking at some pictures of John Coltrane. My mind then jumped to the memory of his wife, Alice Coltrane and her album Journey in Satchidananda. From there I thought about Bobby Hutcherson and his piece, "Slow Change" and I pulled up the video and listened to the piece... And then my mind flipped! I was listening to this stuff back in the '60's! What the hell happened to me?
I am obviously going through a brain damaged thing... I used to be on top of what was happening in the (my) world. I was locked in. I started writing because I had a way with words. I knew how to put them together. I read a lot of material and formulated opinions and my mindset, based on the knowledge I was receiving. Then, something happened... WTF!
Well, I'm back to where I left. Somehow I got reminded of how I used to be and how I used to think. I'm back to acting my age and not my shoe size! It's a funny thing about getting older. "Youth is wasted on the young!" I was pretty cool as a young man and I allowed whatever I had to get away from me. But, in retrospect, I see what happened. Thank GOD I even have the sense (now) to see what happened. It's not just about book learning. Anyone can learn to read... Hell, anyone can go to school and be taught. But obtaining knowledge is like learning how to box. When you are ready to apply what you have learned, you have to combinate your knowledge. It has to work for you so that it can work for others. When you get older, you have to pass it on... You also have to know how!
I'm going "back to the future!"
I am obviously going through a brain damaged thing... I used to be on top of what was happening in the (my) world. I was locked in. I started writing because I had a way with words. I knew how to put them together. I read a lot of material and formulated opinions and my mindset, based on the knowledge I was receiving. Then, something happened... WTF!
Well, I'm back to where I left. Somehow I got reminded of how I used to be and how I used to think. I'm back to acting my age and not my shoe size! It's a funny thing about getting older. "Youth is wasted on the young!" I was pretty cool as a young man and I allowed whatever I had to get away from me. But, in retrospect, I see what happened. Thank GOD I even have the sense (now) to see what happened. It's not just about book learning. Anyone can learn to read... Hell, anyone can go to school and be taught. But obtaining knowledge is like learning how to box. When you are ready to apply what you have learned, you have to combinate your knowledge. It has to work for you so that it can work for others. When you get older, you have to pass it on... You also have to know how!
I'm going "back to the future!"
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Check This Shit Out!
February 27th, Wednesday... I 'm sitting here reflecting on my life when this thought popped in my brain... When I was a kid, I used to lie, bigtime! If I did something wrong and got caught, I would lie to my mother because of the punishment she would bestow upon me. It amazed me how adamant my mother was about kicking my ass when she found out that I had lied about something...
As I got older, I realized that it was time to put childish things away. I stopped lying! As I matured, I came to terms with telling the truth, no matter what the cost. I learned to look whomever I was speaking to in the eyes and reveal whatever, with honesty because I became confident and strong when I told the truth. Funny... I thought my evolution was complete when I became an adult. My experience, now, is that when I tell the truth, people don't believe me! It's as if the truth is too far fetched to believe these days. Ain't that a bitch? Looking people in the eyes, verbal agreements, handshakes... That shit means nothing these days.Why give your word on your good name? Where I live, no one even uses the name their mommas gave them. (Everybody has a "nickname!") I used to rely on the news to tell the truth. Can I do that now with all of the show biz BS that goes along with it? Reality shows? What the fuck is that? What reality? Where is the truth when I am looking at a woman and she has altered her face and body with either makeup or plastic surgery or both... Or, she may not be a woman at all! I ended a relationship with a woman because of her devoted conviction to Christianity. What's wrong with that? Psychologically she was (is) dating Christ! Truth be told...
Hey, I'm done! I no longer wish to participate with this charade! No, suicide is not an option. I'll just sit on the porch and watch the (so called) "big dogs" play. The vision reminds me of my childhood, when I used to watch the L'il Rascals. Now there was some reality TV I enjoyed! No lie...
As I got older, I realized that it was time to put childish things away. I stopped lying! As I matured, I came to terms with telling the truth, no matter what the cost. I learned to look whomever I was speaking to in the eyes and reveal whatever, with honesty because I became confident and strong when I told the truth. Funny... I thought my evolution was complete when I became an adult. My experience, now, is that when I tell the truth, people don't believe me! It's as if the truth is too far fetched to believe these days. Ain't that a bitch? Looking people in the eyes, verbal agreements, handshakes... That shit means nothing these days.Why give your word on your good name? Where I live, no one even uses the name their mommas gave them. (Everybody has a "nickname!") I used to rely on the news to tell the truth. Can I do that now with all of the show biz BS that goes along with it? Reality shows? What the fuck is that? What reality? Where is the truth when I am looking at a woman and she has altered her face and body with either makeup or plastic surgery or both... Or, she may not be a woman at all! I ended a relationship with a woman because of her devoted conviction to Christianity. What's wrong with that? Psychologically she was (is) dating Christ! Truth be told...
Hey, I'm done! I no longer wish to participate with this charade! No, suicide is not an option. I'll just sit on the porch and watch the (so called) "big dogs" play. The vision reminds me of my childhood, when I used to watch the L'il Rascals. Now there was some reality TV I enjoyed! No lie...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)