The Defecation of Memory

April 13th, Saturday... I was thinking about how people treat time. Christian logic is that no one is in control of his or her time. That's GOD's piece. There is no promise of tomorrow to anyone. All you have is what you have until you don't have it anymore. Yet most folks think that they have all the time in the world. What that lends oneself to do is procrastinate about one's life. Who really can think about being in the moment?
Early on, it was drilled into me that I was to live in the moment. I was told to make a psychological profile of what I was doing when I was doing it. I did not get it then but, somehow, I tried to adopt and practice what I was told to do. In retrospect, I can recollect what I did when I did it which allows me to enjoy what I did that much more when thinking about it. When I talk to whomever I was with when a particular event took place, the laughs seem deeper and funnier. So I beg the question: Why do people waste so much damn time?
I have gotten to the point where I cannot be around people who sit around and idly chit-chat about nothing. I cannot even listen to people I don't know talk about anything that does not seem to be going in some sort of direction. I went to a book fair today and heard a man, who happens to be running for a political office, talk about being a supporter for a particular county's school system but he sends his kids to the expensive private school where the event was being held. That's cool but... I mean, granted the time, how will that be explained down the road and in the explanation will the truth be revealed? Does it matter? Should I care? I live in the moment, I don't care!

Ain't This Some Shit?

April 11th, Friday... I was on my Facebook account and saw a picture of a woman I went to college with. I started laughing because the last conversation we had, we established that we would go to the movies together. We never kept the date! Why?
She's attractive, still. She has done well in her life. I thought we might get along... Then I remembered what she said that turned me off! Paraphrasing, she made the comment that we could go out but I should not entertain the idea that I could get in her pants! Whoa...WTF!
First of all, I could NEVER get into her pants. I am much bigger and taller than her. Secondly, what is so special about her pants that would make me want to get into them? I am thinking that one's personality would be the primary to attract me to even consider wanting to have sex with her. To display such arrogance as a prerequisite to wanting to have sex is a misnomer. I'm thinking that mood lighting, some alcoholic libation, and some sexy talk would do it for me! But to assume that I want your ass is one thing and to turn me down before I even asked is yet another (thing).
I am older, smarter, and much wiser than I was in college. I'm too old to chase women, now, even know that is the assumed rule of the game. I'm from the Richard Pryor school of sex. Outside of having sex with the women I have had, there is no sex as good as my hand!

Oh Shit!

April 9th, Tuesday... Let me preface what I am about to write by saying I grew up in poverty! That being said, I was in the ATL for the Final 4. I did not see a game. I did not run into any old friends that are coaches. In fact, I never got to downtown Atlanta to see anything relating to the Final 4! What I did get to do was stay in a mansion! Not a 5 star hotel... I stayed in a freakin' mansion! Never in my life I thought that I would get to experience how the other half lived! (And I enjoyed every stinking minute of it!) I stayed in the east wing of the house. The east freakin' wing! It was like a private studio apartment, only bigger! I enjoyed all the rights and privileges of the house. I ate, I drank... I was invited out to breakfast and rode in a S550 Benz. I watched movies in a home theatre with surround sound and 3D capability. I basked in the lap of luxury and I enjoyed the experience. And then it happened... I had to leave! (Crickets...)
I don't regret living the life I have lived so far. I have enjoyed my adventures, good and bad. But I have to tell you... Being rich does have its advantages! But I am thinking that if I had that lifestyle, I would be an idiot today. Not that the people that allowed me to stay with them are "idiots." I am saying that "I would be an idiot!" I would have no perspective. I probably don't have one now. What I do have is an experience that I will never forget! ThankYou Father!

More Shit To Deal With...

April 3rd, Wednesday...  Last week was a bitch! My favorite Aunt died in her sleep! The kicker is that she was taking care of my Moms, who is in the hospital! Now my family is flippin'! Okay, tell me; what is it about "death" that turns reasonable thinking people into morons?
I've been told that death is a part of the cycle of life. No, you don't get to live forever. You may be Christian and looking for the Kingdom, but that's a different kind of living once you die!
Don't get me wrong... I'm bent out of shape over her death. I have choked up a couple of times in all the wrong places. I have not seen much of her and now I can't see her at all. The service was Episcopalian. It was structured and dry. She was cremated. The Urn sat on a table beside her picture. She had Polio most of her adult life but it did not stop her from doing her thing. I admired her. My hope is that she will always watch over me(?).
I did not get the chance to break the news to my mother. My cousin took that away from me. (Seems like it was a decision that was made from an attitude that stemmed from exercising "total autonomy!")
My hope is that her death will trigger the shit hitting the fan in my family. Some folks need to be humbled! GOD has blessed her and I hope HE keeps her! I love you Aunt Gloria... More than I ever told you. In Jesus name, Amen!