Some Shit I Have To Deal With

March 4th, Monday... I was online, looking at some pictures of John Coltrane. My mind then jumped to the memory of his wife, Alice Coltrane and her album Journey in Satchidananda. From there I thought about Bobby Hutcherson and his piece, "Slow Change" and I pulled up the video and listened to the piece... And then my mind flipped! I was listening to this stuff back in the '60's! What the hell happened to me?
I am obviously going through a brain damaged thing... I used to be on top of what was happening in the (my)  world. I was locked in. I started writing because I had a way with words. I knew how to put them together. I read a lot of material and formulated opinions and my mindset, based on the knowledge I was receiving. Then, something happened... WTF!
Well, I'm back to where I left. Somehow I got reminded of how I used to be and how I used to think. I'm back to acting my age and not my shoe size! It's a funny thing about getting older. "Youth is wasted on the young!" I was pretty cool as a young man and I allowed whatever I had to get away from me. But, in retrospect, I see what happened. Thank GOD I even have the sense (now) to see what happened. It's not just about book learning. Anyone can learn to read... Hell, anyone can go to school and be taught. But obtaining knowledge is like learning how to box. When you are ready to apply what you have learned, you have to combinate your knowledge. It has to work for you so that it can work for others. When you get older, you have to pass it on... You also have to know how!
I'm going "back to the future!"

A Warped POV by A. Dacosta Brathway

December 24th, Thursday/ I hate the X'mas holiday! Hate it! Outside of it being Christ's birthday, X'mas is lost on me.I cannot get into the family thing. My family just happens to be dysfunctional so what's the point in getting together? All we do is argue. I'm tired of that shit!
I would rather stay where I am, sit on my ass, and let the holiday pass.I don't get presents, I don't feel "warm and fuzzy" when we all get together and I hold grudges from past family transgressions and trespasses against me. Grudges is all I have to fight the fight with. I would love to put my foot in some body's ass but you can't do that to family, can you? So, what I would rather do is be left alone. I don't want to know about my family's problems... I have my own. I am not interested in who is sick and shut in... I am sick and shut in. I keep hearing the argument that the family is old; I am old too. Have respect for my age and my aging process. Why do I have to endure everybody bullshit and not receive what I give in return?
I know this may (or may not) sound petty but that's what families do. They act petty with the understanding that you should understand their pettiness while they remind you of how petty you are being!
Next year, I will be doing a very private holiday thing. I will sit on my ass and let the holiday pass me by. I have grown out of honoring a present rather than honoring Jesus. Besides, being a member of a dysfunctional family, there is no point in buying presents anyway. Who knows any one's sizes?