April 3rd, Wednesday... Last week was a bitch! My favorite Aunt died in her sleep! The kicker is that she was taking care of my Moms, who is in the hospital! Now my family is flippin'! Okay, tell me; what is it about "death" that turns reasonable thinking people into morons?
I've been told that death is a part of the cycle of life. No, you don't get to live forever. You may be Christian and looking for the Kingdom, but that's a different kind of living once you die!
Don't get me wrong... I'm bent out of shape over her death. I have choked up a couple of times in all the wrong places. I have not seen much of her and now I can't see her at all. The service was Episcopalian. It was structured and dry. She was cremated. The Urn sat on a table beside her picture. She had Polio most of her adult life but it did not stop her from doing her thing. I admired her. My hope is that she will always watch over me(?).
I did not get the chance to break the news to my mother. My cousin took that away from me. (Seems like it was a decision that was made from an attitude that stemmed from exercising "total autonomy!")
My hope is that her death will trigger the shit hitting the fan in my family. Some folks need to be humbled! GOD has blessed her and I hope HE keeps her! I love you Aunt Gloria... More than I ever told you. In Jesus name, Amen!
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Some Shit I Will Never Forget!
March 9th, Saturday... Living in America is a challenge! There are so many obstacles to overcome, it blows the mind! Housing is bad. Making decent money is hard. Jobs are scarce.People are cranky. There is a gun problem....A gang problem. Education is inadequate. People are frustrated! And then there is the biggy... RACISM!!!In the land of freedom (allegedly) racism plays a big role in the demise of the fabric of American society. There is no getting around it. It affects everyone! (Even the ones in denial.)
I will never forget my first encounter with racism. It was a very cold and snowy morning on January 30, 1951. It was approximitly 3 a.m. I was the tender age of 3 seconds old when a white, Jewish doctor smacked me on my ass! (That shit hurt!) My mother did not (could not) defend me. She was too busy complaining about her back hurting. I was dangling upside down, being held by my feet like a captured slave. I was hungry and hurting. I felt like I passed through a tight tunnel... searching for FREEDOM! (Harriett, where were you when I needed you?) Ever since then, it has been down hill for me.
I don't know what other people's walk of life is like, but if it is anything like mine, they are in for a rough time. If only a little compassion could be exercised. If only people could be mindful of the fact that we need each other to make things better... Ahhh... What the hell am I thinking? This is America!
I will never forget my first encounter with racism. It was a very cold and snowy morning on January 30, 1951. It was approximitly 3 a.m. I was the tender age of 3 seconds old when a white, Jewish doctor smacked me on my ass! (That shit hurt!) My mother did not (could not) defend me. She was too busy complaining about her back hurting. I was dangling upside down, being held by my feet like a captured slave. I was hungry and hurting. I felt like I passed through a tight tunnel... searching for FREEDOM! (Harriett, where were you when I needed you?) Ever since then, it has been down hill for me.
I don't know what other people's walk of life is like, but if it is anything like mine, they are in for a rough time. If only a little compassion could be exercised. If only people could be mindful of the fact that we need each other to make things better... Ahhh... What the hell am I thinking? This is America!
Monday, March 4, 2013
Some Shit I Have To Deal With
March 4th, Monday... I was online, looking at some pictures of John Coltrane. My mind then jumped to the memory of his wife, Alice Coltrane and her album Journey in Satchidananda. From there I thought about Bobby Hutcherson and his piece, "Slow Change" and I pulled up the video and listened to the piece... And then my mind flipped! I was listening to this stuff back in the '60's! What the hell happened to me?
I am obviously going through a brain damaged thing... I used to be on top of what was happening in the (my) world. I was locked in. I started writing because I had a way with words. I knew how to put them together. I read a lot of material and formulated opinions and my mindset, based on the knowledge I was receiving. Then, something happened... WTF!
Well, I'm back to where I left. Somehow I got reminded of how I used to be and how I used to think. I'm back to acting my age and not my shoe size! It's a funny thing about getting older. "Youth is wasted on the young!" I was pretty cool as a young man and I allowed whatever I had to get away from me. But, in retrospect, I see what happened. Thank GOD I even have the sense (now) to see what happened. It's not just about book learning. Anyone can learn to read... Hell, anyone can go to school and be taught. But obtaining knowledge is like learning how to box. When you are ready to apply what you have learned, you have to combinate your knowledge. It has to work for you so that it can work for others. When you get older, you have to pass it on... You also have to know how!
I'm going "back to the future!"
I am obviously going through a brain damaged thing... I used to be on top of what was happening in the (my) world. I was locked in. I started writing because I had a way with words. I knew how to put them together. I read a lot of material and formulated opinions and my mindset, based on the knowledge I was receiving. Then, something happened... WTF!
Well, I'm back to where I left. Somehow I got reminded of how I used to be and how I used to think. I'm back to acting my age and not my shoe size! It's a funny thing about getting older. "Youth is wasted on the young!" I was pretty cool as a young man and I allowed whatever I had to get away from me. But, in retrospect, I see what happened. Thank GOD I even have the sense (now) to see what happened. It's not just about book learning. Anyone can learn to read... Hell, anyone can go to school and be taught. But obtaining knowledge is like learning how to box. When you are ready to apply what you have learned, you have to combinate your knowledge. It has to work for you so that it can work for others. When you get older, you have to pass it on... You also have to know how!
I'm going "back to the future!"
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Check This Shit Out!
February 27th, Wednesday... I 'm sitting here reflecting on my life when this thought popped in my brain... When I was a kid, I used to lie, bigtime! If I did something wrong and got caught, I would lie to my mother because of the punishment she would bestow upon me. It amazed me how adamant my mother was about kicking my ass when she found out that I had lied about something...
As I got older, I realized that it was time to put childish things away. I stopped lying! As I matured, I came to terms with telling the truth, no matter what the cost. I learned to look whomever I was speaking to in the eyes and reveal whatever, with honesty because I became confident and strong when I told the truth. Funny... I thought my evolution was complete when I became an adult. My experience, now, is that when I tell the truth, people don't believe me! It's as if the truth is too far fetched to believe these days. Ain't that a bitch? Looking people in the eyes, verbal agreements, handshakes... That shit means nothing these days.Why give your word on your good name? Where I live, no one even uses the name their mommas gave them. (Everybody has a "nickname!") I used to rely on the news to tell the truth. Can I do that now with all of the show biz BS that goes along with it? Reality shows? What the fuck is that? What reality? Where is the truth when I am looking at a woman and she has altered her face and body with either makeup or plastic surgery or both... Or, she may not be a woman at all! I ended a relationship with a woman because of her devoted conviction to Christianity. What's wrong with that? Psychologically she was (is) dating Christ! Truth be told...
Hey, I'm done! I no longer wish to participate with this charade! No, suicide is not an option. I'll just sit on the porch and watch the (so called) "big dogs" play. The vision reminds me of my childhood, when I used to watch the L'il Rascals. Now there was some reality TV I enjoyed! No lie...
As I got older, I realized that it was time to put childish things away. I stopped lying! As I matured, I came to terms with telling the truth, no matter what the cost. I learned to look whomever I was speaking to in the eyes and reveal whatever, with honesty because I became confident and strong when I told the truth. Funny... I thought my evolution was complete when I became an adult. My experience, now, is that when I tell the truth, people don't believe me! It's as if the truth is too far fetched to believe these days. Ain't that a bitch? Looking people in the eyes, verbal agreements, handshakes... That shit means nothing these days.Why give your word on your good name? Where I live, no one even uses the name their mommas gave them. (Everybody has a "nickname!") I used to rely on the news to tell the truth. Can I do that now with all of the show biz BS that goes along with it? Reality shows? What the fuck is that? What reality? Where is the truth when I am looking at a woman and she has altered her face and body with either makeup or plastic surgery or both... Or, she may not be a woman at all! I ended a relationship with a woman because of her devoted conviction to Christianity. What's wrong with that? Psychologically she was (is) dating Christ! Truth be told...
Hey, I'm done! I no longer wish to participate with this charade! No, suicide is not an option. I'll just sit on the porch and watch the (so called) "big dogs" play. The vision reminds me of my childhood, when I used to watch the L'il Rascals. Now there was some reality TV I enjoyed! No lie...
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Ain't This Some Shit?
February 26th, Tuesday... Considering that this is the end of "Black History Month, I was wondering how much black youth have learned about their history? I work with a psychologist and he pointed out, to me, that Black people (my people) seem to be complacent with the idea that all is okay as long as they have a big screen TV and can order carryout!
Now, I know and have been around alot of poor black folk but the common thread has been that they have a big screen TV and I don't know any black person that does not have a cell phone! (Carryout can be ordered on the run!) Has slavery and the Civil Rights Movement not made a dent? Quiet is kept, slavery is relative. The times, housing, or the lack thereof, the 'Hood are the modern day version of slavery. Black folks are enslaved to the system. We are uneducated, even though there are schools everywhere. Prisons are still being built. Amongst blacks, the crime rate is super high! Black babies are being killed at an alarming rate by, get this, other black babies! Yet the trappings of being on the planet have been reduced to watching TV and eating fast food.
Of course this does not apply to all but it does apply in places least expected. I'm sure my opinion can be debated by those who are cunning enough to manipulate the numbers from the many surveys that aid in determining the censis count and I do not claim to have surveyed anyone. However, I do work in the 'Hood and bear witness to the mindset of the youth of that 'Hood. It's a sad deal...
Black History should not be reduced to a month. There is no limitation on gaining knowledge. A cell phone can be utilized for better use and fast food is, well... need I say more?
Now, I know and have been around alot of poor black folk but the common thread has been that they have a big screen TV and I don't know any black person that does not have a cell phone! (Carryout can be ordered on the run!) Has slavery and the Civil Rights Movement not made a dent? Quiet is kept, slavery is relative. The times, housing, or the lack thereof, the 'Hood are the modern day version of slavery. Black folks are enslaved to the system. We are uneducated, even though there are schools everywhere. Prisons are still being built. Amongst blacks, the crime rate is super high! Black babies are being killed at an alarming rate by, get this, other black babies! Yet the trappings of being on the planet have been reduced to watching TV and eating fast food.
Of course this does not apply to all but it does apply in places least expected. I'm sure my opinion can be debated by those who are cunning enough to manipulate the numbers from the many surveys that aid in determining the censis count and I do not claim to have surveyed anyone. However, I do work in the 'Hood and bear witness to the mindset of the youth of that 'Hood. It's a sad deal...
Black History should not be reduced to a month. There is no limitation on gaining knowledge. A cell phone can be utilized for better use and fast food is, well... need I say more?
Sunday, February 17, 2013
More Shit To Deal With...
February 17th, Sunday... Today is the NBA's feature Allstar game and the sports world is abuzz! Oh the pageantry of it all! On top of that, it is Michael Jordan's 50th birthday! Yay for Mike! I listen to sport's talk radio and the talking heads are making a real big deal out of it! There has been story after story about MJ's storied basketball life and I have to tell you, I am bored shitless!
It's been over 20 years since MJ won his last NBA title, which deems him "irrelevant" in my book. As far as I am concerned, LeBron James is the "now" big thing to forget about 20 years down the road! MJ won 6 NBA titles... So what! Bill Russell won eleven! MJ looked like he could fly when he jumped. So did Dr. J! (Julius Erving) To let the pundits tell it, Michael is self-centered, arrogant, shady... They say that's who he is. Who wants to be around someone like that? Funny thing, Jordan always seems to look like he doesn't want anyone around him. He is too self-absorbed. (I wonder how many mirrors he has cracked?)
Michael once said (I am paraphrasing) "Don't be surprised if you see me in the NBA at 50!" "Paleeeeese" come back and play at 50! Please? I would love to see MJ try to compete at his age now! I'm sure Mike's take off to the basket would look like the Wright Brothers first flight! They say that he is a great "shit" talker! That's what he should be now... A shit talker. Keep your memories, live in the past, and stay on the porch! The BIG BOYS are running now. Not grumpy old men!
Today is the last day of the allstar festivities. It's also the last day for MJ's 50th birthday. Unfortunately, the allstar game will be forgotten in a few days. But, will MJ's birthday follow the same demise? Inshallah...
It's been over 20 years since MJ won his last NBA title, which deems him "irrelevant" in my book. As far as I am concerned, LeBron James is the "now" big thing to forget about 20 years down the road! MJ won 6 NBA titles... So what! Bill Russell won eleven! MJ looked like he could fly when he jumped. So did Dr. J! (Julius Erving) To let the pundits tell it, Michael is self-centered, arrogant, shady... They say that's who he is. Who wants to be around someone like that? Funny thing, Jordan always seems to look like he doesn't want anyone around him. He is too self-absorbed. (I wonder how many mirrors he has cracked?)
Michael once said (I am paraphrasing) "Don't be surprised if you see me in the NBA at 50!" "Paleeeeese" come back and play at 50! Please? I would love to see MJ try to compete at his age now! I'm sure Mike's take off to the basket would look like the Wright Brothers first flight! They say that he is a great "shit" talker! That's what he should be now... A shit talker. Keep your memories, live in the past, and stay on the porch! The BIG BOYS are running now. Not grumpy old men!
Today is the last day of the allstar festivities. It's also the last day for MJ's 50th birthday. Unfortunately, the allstar game will be forgotten in a few days. But, will MJ's birthday follow the same demise? Inshallah...
Friday, February 8, 2013
Some Sad Shit!
February 8th, Friday... I'm watching a program called NFL Characters Unite on USA about kids being encouraged by star athletes to express themselves, as it relates to them being bullied or harrassed for some particular reason. I'm watching and I'm feeling different emotions like anger and sorrow and fear... I'm a grown (ass) man and I'm tearing up while listening to the stories these kids are telling.
I guess I suffered somewhat when I was a kid. I had nothing, materially. But, I did have a strong mother who held it down while nurturing me with confidence and strength. I grew up with such intestional fortitude, it did not seem fair. I'm not saying that I did not have my moments when I crawled into a corner and assumed the fetal position, but even with that I gained strength!
I am meeting kids who lack confidence and courage and the will to go on. I see dispair and a hopelessness that overpowers them and it disturbs me. I see greed in agencies designed to help children. Grant money being allocated towards home improvement opposed to character improvement. Personal motorpools being enhanced instead of swimming pools being constructed for hot summer days.
I cannot get it in my head to ignore the ignorance of the gate keepers who hoard and manipulate the system, for whatever reason. I am amazed at the arrogance and gall of those who are in charge but cannot lead the charge for what is right.
I guess that is why I feel great joy to work with an organization called Higher Hopes, Inc. It was started by a brother named (Dr.) Bruce Purnell who had an epithany early on and committed himself to working with youth to help better their psychological and social condition.
It is my hope that those who read my blog will connect with Higher Hopes, Inc. and the Overground Freeway on Facebook. Click the "Like" icon and follow us! C'mon... You can do it!
I guess I suffered somewhat when I was a kid. I had nothing, materially. But, I did have a strong mother who held it down while nurturing me with confidence and strength. I grew up with such intestional fortitude, it did not seem fair. I'm not saying that I did not have my moments when I crawled into a corner and assumed the fetal position, but even with that I gained strength!
I am meeting kids who lack confidence and courage and the will to go on. I see dispair and a hopelessness that overpowers them and it disturbs me. I see greed in agencies designed to help children. Grant money being allocated towards home improvement opposed to character improvement. Personal motorpools being enhanced instead of swimming pools being constructed for hot summer days.
I cannot get it in my head to ignore the ignorance of the gate keepers who hoard and manipulate the system, for whatever reason. I am amazed at the arrogance and gall of those who are in charge but cannot lead the charge for what is right.
I guess that is why I feel great joy to work with an organization called Higher Hopes, Inc. It was started by a brother named (Dr.) Bruce Purnell who had an epithany early on and committed himself to working with youth to help better their psychological and social condition.
It is my hope that those who read my blog will connect with Higher Hopes, Inc. and the Overground Freeway on Facebook. Click the "Like" icon and follow us! C'mon... You can do it!
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